You know you're an Ultrarunner if:

1. Your wife tries to introduce you to your three children and you reply "Three?"
2. You spend more time in the drug section than the food section of the local market.
3. You wonder why they don't make all running socks a dusty brown color.
4. You have more dirt on your shoes than in your garden.
5. You think that flagel and ibutrophin belong on the breakfast table.
6. You get more phone calls at 5:00 AM than at 5:00 PM.
7. You don't recognize your friends with their clothes on.
8. You have more buckles than belts.
9. You postpone your wedding because it will interfere with your training.
10. You keep mistaking your boss for Norm Klein.
11. 6am is sleeping in.
12. Your feet look better without toenails.
13. Your idea of a fun date is a 30-mile training run.
14. You're tempted to look for a bush when there's a long line for the public restroom.
15. You don't think twice about eating food you've picked up off the floor.
16. You can expound on the virtues of eating salt.
17. You develop an unnatural fear of mountain lions.
18. When you wake up without the alarm at 4AM, pop outa bed and think "lets hit the trails together".
19. When you can recite the protein grams by heart of each energy bar.
20. You don’t even LOOK for the porto-sans anymore.
21. Your ideal way to celebrate your birthday is to run at least your age in miles with some fellow crazies.
22. Your ideal way to celebrate the new year is to run as far as you can afford to with some fellow crazies.
23. Your ideal way to have fun is to run as far as you can afford to with some fellow crazies.
24. You know the location of every 7-11, public restroom, and water fountain within a 25-mile radius of your house.
25. You run marathons for speedwork.
26. You have more fanny packs and water bottles and flashlights than Imelda Marcos has shoes.
27. You visit a national park with your family and notice a thirty-mile trail connecting where you are with the place your family wants to visit next, which is a 100-mile drive away, and you think "Hmmmm".
28. Someone asks you how long your training run is going to be and you answer "seven or eight ... hours".
29. People at work think you're in a whole lot better shape than you think you are.
30. You actually are in a whole lot better shape than you think you are.
31. Your weekend runs are limited by how much time you have, not by how far you can run.
32. You always have at least one black toenail.
33. You buy economy-sized jars of Vaseline on a regular basis.
34. You tried hashing, but felt the trails were too short and easy.
35. You think of pavement as a necessary evil that connects trails.
36. You’re read this and relating to some of it.
37. You rotate your running shoes more often than you rotate your tires.
38. Your friends recognize you better dressed in shorts than in long pants.
39. You really envied Tom Hanks' long run as Forest Gump.
40. You carry money around in a ziplock bag because store clerks complained that your money's usually too sweaty.
41. Any time a plain old runner talks about her aches and pains, you can sympathize because you've already had that at least once.
42. You put more miles on your feet than on your rental car over the weekend.
43. You don't need to paint your toenails; they're already different colors.
44. You start planning the family vacation around races and vice-versa.
45. You say "Only a 100K to go."
46. When you start considering your next vacation on the merits of its ultras
47. You spend you entire paycheck on running gear, ultrabars, and entry fees.
48. You become a quasi-expert on different detergents so as to not "hurt" your tee shirts.
49. You leave work early to hit the trails
50. You wear t-shirts based on if you've had good work outs when you've worn them before.
51. Have a trail shoe collection that would make Imelda Marcos envious.